Thursday, December 27, 2012

finger yap'n session

Yay for the week of Christmas!  When Lyla was born the husband & I decided a super long weekend or an entire week was needed for Christmas celebrating and recovery time.  I'm convinced having the time to drum it all up, pa rum pum pum pum, and revel in it properly takes more than a day or two.  A day later there are so many people who are dismantling their villages and boughs thankful for it to be over.  Whah, What?  I haven't even had quality play time with all the new toys yet...put the breaks on!  The lead up is the it's time to absorb it all...the Fun part!  Christmas is as exciting for me now as it was when I was a kid.  It's such a ...literal, Merry, time of year.  I just love it & the days after. 

Woke up this morning to about 8 inches of heavy snow & with my warped relationship with food it's easy for me to justify all the shoveling I did means I've earned a piece of cheesecake.  It does not justify the steak and cheese grinder I'm about to devour as soon as it's warm, or the three slices of mac attack pizza I gobbled down for a late lunch or the three handfuls of skittles I've sugar snacked up since dinner.  I've made poor choices today.  yesterday.  the day before that & nearly every day since Thanksgiving.  Crap, we could go as far back as Halloween.  It has been a never ending feeding frenzy. I know this because my clothes are feeling snug & what was my disgusting muffin top has grown into a full blown layer cake.  I'm fed.  up.  BUT, I still have that greasy deliciousness wrapped in foil warming in the oven, mmmm...cheese melting around shaved steak with peppers, onions and mushrooms laced with hot peppers.  Love it.  It's comfort & I eat comfort up when I'm dealing with issues internally.  Tomorrow brings my second visit to the periodontist for my final two quadrants of scaling which we hope will get my gums into better condition.  It's scary for me,  I know it's not THAT bad and I survived the first round with minimal tears.  ha.  Yup, I shed tears during the two novocain shots the one on the roof towards the front of my mouth did hurt, but the tears had more to do with my anxiety and fear, my hands were visibly trembling, my body was so tense my muscles ached the day after, as well as, my gums...yet, somehow I anticipated it being worse?!  I dread the morning & I'm sure I'll have a rough nights rest..fortunately, I'll be done and drooling from the left side of my mouth by noon.  Is it Noon on Friday yet?  Darn.

It's been late nights will Lyla this week, the three year old Rockstar!  It's ten.  She's up.   & it's the reason she's sleeping until 10 in the morning, which has it's advantages, but I sense a tough transition once Daddy & Mami are back on a "normal" schedule late next week.    Even with Santa coming on Christmas she slept in until 9 ...holy macaroni!  I expected her little eyes to be inches from mine by 6 A.M., wasn't the case.  This year anyway.

I had so much more on my mind that I wanted to yap about, but now I'm feeling a compulsion to get this child to bed before my steak and grease gets cold ...haha  so off I go with more to come another day.  

Check out the photos of one of our homemade Christmas gifts. Flat clear gemstones, index sized photos, white glue and magnets.  I'd purchased the stones so long ago with the intent to do something like this, but wasn't sure how to execute sticking the photos onto the stones, I kept thinking glue would make the image cloudy and barely visible, so off to Pinterest I went & sure enough there were people on there who have done it and used white school glue!  Perfect!  They didn't come out too bad considering I allowed Lyla to do much of the gluing.  A winner craft in my mind!  We stuck them in tins and watched for smiles as they were opened Christmas Day.  

Saturday, December 15, 2012


I'd been working on a blog about my daughters head cold morphed into mutant brown syrup blowing out her butt every time she coughed for 9 hours & then Friday showed up & my "shitty" day was well...a day I'd take over & over again if the alternative was the tragedy that struck Newtown, Connecticut.  My heart is heavy.  It saddens me that anyone had to die, especially innocence.  Children.  Young kids who are clueless to the dark ugliness that presents itself in the world from time to time. Clearly this young adult was suffering from something much larger than himself.  Yes, his actions are incomprehensible & we're angry, we're heartbroken and we desperately need to place blame & understand Why?!  Investigators will gather evidence and surmise a reason, but the truth died yesterday in a senseless tragedy. We can erect metal detectors, we can build walls, take safe haven behind bullet proof glass, ban weapons.....or we can address the deeper issue, mental health.

For my own mental health, my television is off.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Binky, Bye! Hello, Kit!

It's been a long time coming.   A  year?  We used to have a near dozen binks, then we had a binky fairy exchange for all except ONE.  Then, Daddy bought two more.  Then, one by one the little teeth on our growing binky monster chewed through the nipples until there was just One Lone Binky once again.  She lost it, yesterday.  She was primarily using the binky for sleeping and "resting" as she called it.  So....yesterday at 9:30 A.M. she announced it was rest time and asked for her binky.  I didn't have it.  We searched high and low.  It was gone.  Lyla wailed for two hours.  No joke.
"I'm never going to get through this, mama!  you need to look again!  I can't rest without it."  Had I been trying to pull a fast one on her, I would have caved and given her the binky after an hour of this hyperventilating binky hysteria!  Screaming she can't relax without sucking on her binky!  Running frantically through the house yelling that I need to look again!  You need to buy more! I told her there was a limit on how many binkies a parent was allowed to buy and an age cut off.   Then, she pissed in her panties all over the kitchen floor.  SERIOUSLY?  "Lyla, you would rather cry and pee in your pants than accept the fact you're big enough to move beyond the binky days, this displeases me. BUT, if that's the case then, we may have to regress back to diapers."  She cried and apologized, "I was too upset to hold it, I don't need diapers."  She stopped crying, stripped down, helped me wipe the floor clean & I picked her up, cradled her, brought her in to lay down, let her suck on my finger, until she bit it & assured her if anyone I know could get through a no more binky tragedy, it's her because she's so brave and intelligent that no binky can ruin her happy life, binky...pfft.  binky Who?.  She started sobbing, "Mama, I don't want to grow up!"   to which I said. Then, Don't. You're not a grown up without a're still a kid, a kid without a binky.  You can do this, Lyla.  & just like that she was done with trying to rest and back to playing.   A couple hours later I snuck up, gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, "are you okay?"  and she looked at me with those big chocolate eyes and said, "Mama, I'm okay, I'm done crying."    Wow, that was pretty easy.

I was outside picking up the dogs poop in the yard when I noticed the binky up in the corner of the backyard by the fence.  hahahaha  Thank You, Oscar!  For once I'm not aggravated with you grabbing something you shouldn't have & bringing it outside to play.  I picked up the binks and slipped it into my back pocket.  NO WAY in hell was I mentioning it turned up.  I tucked it away, knowing when Daddy came home he'd be sent out on a hunt for it. When he, too, came up short, & I saw a bit of disappointment behind Lyla's eyes, I decided it was time to bring out her American Girl doll.  A hand me down from a woman my husband works with.  I'd bought matching PJ's for Lyla and Kit, we'd planned on giving her to Lyla on Christmas Eve...but, now was as good a time as any.  I went into this elaborate story about binkies disintegrating when children become a certain age because otherwise Santa could screw up and bring baby toys instead of big girl toys, on and on how Daddy & I knew this day may come this year and to be sure she could still sleep through the night with the loss of her binky & not darken her Holiday spirit, we wanted her to have a dolly friend who could cuddle up and ease her sleeping worries, that Kit was so excited to finally meet her after being packed away waiting for their first encounter.   Not another lost binky tear was shed and they played games and danced into the night together.    Phew!  Bye Bye Binky!!  hahahahaha  I'm one happy woman!

Lyla was so thrilled with Kit she decided to draw a picture of her and wanted to learn how to write her name.  Lyla & Kit best little girl dolly friends forever!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

happy eat too much day, nap, repeat.

It's Thanksgiving!  Can you believe it?  Where the f has the year gone.  When did my daughter become such a big girl?  There are days she even wipes her own butt!  ...this is big stuff in my world.  damn, do I love my world, even the ass wiping part of the gig.
I've read many 'I'm thankful'  professions for 22 days & most, as you would suspect, were heartfelt...& maybe even sincere, good for them!  I'm throwing out a material thanks today! All the occasions the husband & I have forgone gift giving has materialized into  a super duper new 'puter!   Our office now ready for triple attack!  Daddy & I no longer need to share our computers with a three year old with new found love of online videos and games.   Yay Me!  Yay Her!  Yay Daddy!  Yay to more blogging... maybe. *wink*

Time to go get my Lazy on!  Thanks to my mom who'll throw down a lip licking, belly bulging spread today, but until then....we'll be fart'n around in our very own computer lab.  ha.  geek squad.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

weighted farewell

Shipyard Pumpkin Ale & I are officially breaking up this week, it was a great October run.  Sure, I could go purchase a couple cases to hold onto, but I have such a difficult time with practicing moderation, I need to turn my back now and not look back.  Oh, how I love you poured into a glass with just the slightest head that snuggles up to the lip licking candied rim of sugar & cinnamon. 

My only reason for ending my Pumpkinhead season early is because managing my weight is my top priority. In the month of October I've gained 12lbs.  TWELVE POUNDS?!   Seriously,  I can't blame it all on the beer, but a case a week of 185 calorie bottles poured into a glass with sugar and cinnamon is no light affair & drinking those quantities also changed my eating habits for the worse. 

The number one sign it was a great run & I drank my fair share and enjoyed every drop and granule came about during the purchase of what would be my last case. I brought my daughter along & was explaining to her in the car on the way to the packie that I'd checked the liquor store down the street from our house the night before & they were fresh out of Pumpkinhead, that it only comes around during the Fall and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to it yet.  I talked about how this was a special Pumpkinhead mission, we were on an adventure to find me a case!  We walked into the package store and suddenly, Lyla, took off in a sprint down the aisle towards the back of the store where a giant display was piled high of Shipyard Pumpkinhead, she began jumping up and down shouting, "Mama, they have it!  They have it! LOOK!"  Both of our faces lit up as if rays of sun were shining through the roof.   I, too, wanted to jump up and down, but I contained my excitement...until we were in the privacy of our own home.

I can't wait until we dance again, Pumpkinhead!  Keep on, Keeping on....

Now...time to get this weight off,  it's a constant struggle.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

apples, onions & weight not lost

The weight loss didn't go so well.  ha-ha  I didn't reach the 7 lb goal and I gained back that which I'd lost., to step on the scale this week and be down the 4 again, with still 3 to go before I reach my 7lb goal.   Sure, I could have skipped the apple pie baking and eating, but life is too short to snub fresh baked apple pie & I'm damn proud because I've never baked such a perfect pie. ever. & Lyla hand picked all those apples with her very own cute little mitts.  Sure, I could have halved my food portions, or not had a half dozen cups of homemade french onion soup in two days, but F That, it was too good to walk away from & I'm too wound up in my head to not emotionally eat right, pass the goodies and let me heal... *wink* 
Maybe next week I'll hit the 7lb down mark, crazier things have happened.

Here are some photos of our apple picking adventure & pie...and that delicious best ever french onion soup I made!  It was soooooo goood.  something about the all day cooking, toasted baguette and fresh gruyere cheese that'll always put a smile on your face!

Monday, September 10, 2012

time to eat a donut

I blink my eyes and "poof" minutes morph to days gone by. time keeps on slipping.  I think about coming here, I take mental notes on all the funny bits of my life I want to share or the annoying run ins with the public I want to complain about, but then it's time to make breakfast, time to do crafts, time to dust, time for a bath, time for lunch, time for the playground, time for errands, time for reading, time to prep dinner, time to eat, time for a bath, time to read, again, time to make a list of tomorrows to-do's, time for bed.  repeat.  time warp. 

So what's new, you ask?  A couple of "firsts" since I checked in last.

the pink frosted rainbow sprinkled donuts were in perfect alignment with the sparkling brown eyes that gazed just above & across the counter top to the far wall while balanced on tip toes.   "mama, I want the pink bagel!"  My eyes dart around & there was the tray of glistening pink confection perfectly level with her line of vision, "Not today, Lyla, the next time we come you can order it."  Lyla has never had a donut.  bagel yes. donut no.
Had never had. 
we hit the drive thru on our way home from class this morning. it's been about a week since we were there, but you know the always absorbing retaining mind of the 38 inches perched directly behind me piped up with..."the pink bagel!  I want the pink bagel," as soon as we pulled into the drive-thru line. the memory on this kid has me smiling with amazement everyday. The last time, I'd told her next time so, I didn't even attempt a back pedaling negotiation AND she'd done such a great job listening, and following direction back at the gym in her very first non mommy assisted gymnastics class....I ordered the not a speck of nutritional value sugar coated melt in your mouth wheel of deliciousness & explained to her it's a donut, not a bagel.  I can't remember the last time I had a donut, given my ongoing conflict with the battle of the bulge I chose to keep it that way.  the last thing I need is to give birth to a weakness for weight damaging donut devouring.  speaking of weight...I'm still hanging in with the calorie counting...half ass style. It's felt like I'm one day on, one day off, one day on, one day off track.  Last Monday didn't go so well with only 1 lb lost, but would have been worse to see an increase. I think my celebration of Hello Labor Day indulgence may have been to blame (it was worth it)!  Without the liberty of pointing fingers towards any specific reason other than my own bad habits, this week was Zero lost. ugh.  3 more to go until I reach my goal & 7 days to accomplish it.  I had pizza for breakfast, the decision may haunt me. 

began a part-time nanny gig.  three girls.  8, 5 and 2.   they're sweet children & while the older two are off at school Lyla has a one on one little person connection.  if only I had the opportunity to video Lyla and B in the backseat last week after we dropped the other two at school.  L & B fastened in their car seats each holding a pretend phone....
"hello!" says Lyla.
B says, "hello!" back at her.
"Hello!" says Lyla, again.
"Hello!" right back from B.
"HELLO!" says Lyla, yet again.
"HELLO!" B shouts back.
and then they both kicked their legs gleefully and giggled in a pitch so high, I checked my shattering mirrors for dogs.

By the looks of it, Lyla, enjoyed the frosting more than the actual donut. 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Lyla's Words (2)

the wise Lyla shared this bit of genius with me just now....
"sometimes when you cough like this *covers mouth and throws out a couple fake coughs* you could fart, too. they sneak out when you cough."

update on the weight loss for week one of calorie counting, I didn't count on Saturday or Sunday, but also didn't get crazy, decided that the weekends would be count free. I weighed in Monday morning ...down 3.  Four more pounds to go before September 17th & then I'll set my next goal.

Friday, August 24, 2012

white glove test. clean.

Half of America wouldn't know a stitch about the cycling world if it weren't for Lance and his victories.  maybe I wouldn't. I've watched hours of those tours, signed up to receive race updates, they were grueling, exciting & sexy.  sure, it's likely he was doping, from what 'they' say, they all were. it was the culture, saw opportunity and beat a poor system, fell right in under the "rules" ...until 'they' didn't.  difference?  if he doped, he never got caught.  people can't get over it, the testing failed them.  'they' so badly want to prove he isn't some kind of super hero, but they're failing to realize,  It's too Late.  he's already fought and won the only fight that truly matters at this point, this is all unnecessary drama. drama. drama.  Agent Nelson Van Alden of the USADA needs to pick a new battle, one he can actually win... all the he said, she said bullshit up against what Lance has accomplished both in and out of the saddle. smh. dude, he was "supposed" to die & he beat the odds, rode with USPS & won the Tour de F*n France 7 F*n Times!  Nelson, you look silly. take your "evidence" along with all the negative test results and move off & away from the positive force which is Livestrong.  get to living.  Lance is taking his ball to a better game.   any way I look at it he's an amazing human being, athlete, the best of the lead pack(perhaps the dopest of the dopers), a cancer ass kicker and Survivor.  it just doesn't me, anyway.  his accomplishments far outweigh the dusty allegations.
he's not hard on the eyes either.

Photo: Vanity Fair, Annie Leibovitz.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

suck in the gut

if I sit here and suck in my gut I feel thinner already!  Midway through Day Two of Operation Fat Ass WILL Shed Pounds  & I've had breakfast, lunch and a snack ...all before 2 p.m.  Stahv'n Mahv'n!

305 Calories
1/2 bagel with smidge of cream cheese
coffee with the milk and crappy sweetener

290 Calories
pocket with a slice of ham, cheese, spicy brown mustard, shredded lettuce and pineapple

250 Calories
Flipside crackers...the best!  cheddar and pretzel sides...yum!  with cheddar cheese

80 Calories

425 Calories
two slices of homemade plain pizza

add another 40 calories on Crystal Light and we're right around  1400 on the day.  More than day one, but still better than the gluttony I've practiced for the past month.

Monday, August 20, 2012

fat girl in the mirror

As I sit here and type this, the waist on my jeans is tight and my extra large sized muffin top is bulging over.  lovely.  picture of beauty. ha-ha
It's Monday, at 4.  I have a case of ...I want to eat my own arm.  I've had breakfast. lunch & a snack. Today is day one of Operation Fat Ass WILL Shed Pounds!  It has to be done before hibernation weather creeps up on me because that weather brings with it, comfort food which I have an affinity for, yeah...shocker! :)  My short term goal is to be down 7 lbs by September 17th, nearly a month to lose 7 seems like an attainable first goal.  I only chose the number because it's my favorite.  I dig 7.    I'll weigh in once a week, on each Monday and either laugh or cry. or both.  in the past whenever I set out to lose any amount of weight I've always joined WW.  Great Program!  but, this time...I'm just going to attempt to be conscious of every bite I put in my mouth and do a rough calorie count.  we'll see how it works out. 

275 Calories
one slice of scali toast with peanut butter and banana   
coffee with milk and an artificial sweetener (which in years to come will probably be declared carcinogenic)

260 Calories
half a syrian pocket with a slice of cheese, slice of turkey, olive oil mayo, chopped tomato & lettuce
pickle spear

Afternoon Snack
80 Calories

455 Calories
sliced boneless chicken thighs with broccoli in a soy/oyster sauce over sesame ginger rice

40 Calories
roughly, 60 ounces of Crystal Light 

1110 Calories on Day One & except for the late afternoon hungry horrors I feel satisfied, but I'm still digesting dinner, so this 'not so bad' belief may turn into 'grab me a devil dog' before night fall. 
I won't bore you with my daily diet, day in and day's just good practice for me ...for now.

lyla's words

Me:  Lyla, I love you to the Moon and Back!
Lyla:  I love you for thirty days!

Lyla to her dog:  Don't worry Oscar, I'm here.  I'll always be here.

Lyla called last night from Grammy and Grampa's, she left for there on Saturday on an overnight...Sunday evening showed up the phone rang.
Me:  Hello?!
Lyla:  Mama, I stay here!!  We're going to a restaurant.
Me:  So, you'll call me tomorrow in the morning to come pick you up?
Lyla:  Yeah, I guess I'll call tomorrow.  I love you.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Work'n hard for no money....


"Lyla, please don't play with the beads from the broken necklace, we'll put them aside and restring them another day."  and she looked at me with eyes blazing seriousness, "Mama, if this is the way you're planning to act today, well, you'll be in TIME OUT!"    Geez.

Jumped over the flowers along the perimeter of the patio today, didn't realize Oscar had dug a hole beneath the greenery, left foot jammed in, big toe bent further than it probably should have, a symphony of cracks & pulled muscles was heard and I fell down to my hands and knees.  F*n Dog!  My toe is on fire..don't see a bruise, it's a little swollen and burning up.  lol

This Morning:

While the husband was get'n ready for work and I was making his lunch like a proper wifey all was fine and cheerful until I mentioned the Olympic hours I'm keep'n are draining me, he snapped back with at least I don't have to go to work & I have nearly the entire month off from work ...  Hello?  Can you say F*n Cranky?!  Maybe he shouldn't be staying up so late, either because I don't need to be dealing with his grizzly morning attitude. WTF.  Anyway... I dared to mentioned how what I do daily is no vacation and he went on about what I do isn't real work.

"Corey, why don't you stop talking right now before you dig yourself a grave, you have no clue what you're talking about & you sound like a chauvinist."
and he looks at me ..."I'm not saying what you do (meaning home with Lyla day in and day out) isn't work, but it's not work, work. I could probably do it if I didn't have to also Work. You get to sit on your ass all day and play with our daughter most people would love to be able to do what you do."  
(this from the jerk off who is home for an hour from WORK and becomes testy because he needs Daddy Time?!)
Mind you, we've had this same tiff more times than I can count on one hand...almost word for word in all probability.  Me saying STFU before you say something stupid and him spewing the typical SAHM ignorant statements that people without a clue spew...someone stab my ears with knitting needles..I'd rather be deaf than listen to the dumb dribble from his mouth!  He simply does not get it, the work it takes to entertain and have a little mind in. day out.  I'm clenching my teeth with aggravation right now. F*n Dink. All this because he's jealous over me having 3 (unpaid) weeks off from work??!!  He doesn't realize these three weeks are not a 'vacation' for me.  Ha. A vacation! Now, I'm aggravated with myself for being so annoyed with his dumb ass because it's so off the mark that it should be hilarious.  3 weeks, 24 hours a day with a 3 year old & her best four legged doggy friend = A vacation?!  I need those 2 nights a week to keep me semi sane,  He's Still Alive because I work 14 hours a week and get away from them!
Cheers to me and another day in the life...Most Thankless job fricken Evah! 

Sunday, July 29, 2012


"Mama, more milk and syrup please, with a snack from the cabinet", I haven't mentally processed her first requests, she's barely taken a breathe before she's shouting more at her servant, "Mama can you put on one of my shows & can you do it all at once?"   Ha-Ha.  My, "I'm only one person with two legs and two arms, I can't do everything at once",  will undoubtedly haunt me for years to come if she's already throwing it back at me at the young age of three.

Standing in line at Family Dollar the other day, a package of Princess Pull Ups in my hand, toddler hanging from my pants.  Literally.  The child insists on hanging from my clothing.  It annoys me to the moon and back...imagine it...suddenly,  I'm there, bare ass in the line at the store.  It gives me anxiety. I'm milk white nearly iridescent from the cleavage to the high thigh..someone could be blinded if too much of that beaming light skin is exposed. She's a shirt grabber, too. V Necks, forget about it. crew necks are now v necks..may as well whip out the breast on my own accord because she's gonna pull the neck of that shirt down before I get the words "don't pull on my shirt" out.   I should just throw my arms up and live naked...she'll nickname me, Mama the naked Hero.  She's bare ass as often as she can be...we'll be the naked duo.   I know. Ewww. I gave myself the heebeegeebies with that mental image.  sorry about that.
Sooooo....where was I?
Standing in line at Family Dollar..for what felt like forever & I realized what's more annoying than the kid hanging from my clothing is the cashier who with a 7 people deep line is yakkety yak'n it up with customers. I'm all about polite customer relations, BUT hello, you're over doing it. I'm not interested in hearing your opinion of how plastic shopping bags are flimsier than ever before, the guy behind me isn't interested either, I can tell by the way he's shifting his weight from right to left foot & back again, he's harboring aggravation. The married senior couple the cashier is chatting with must have stock in plastic shopping bags, they're interest is piqued, I'm waiting for them to break out the tea and cookies as the cashier continues with his degradation of the plastic shopping bag discussion. wrap it up, folks!  Grab your chintzy shopping bag and lets move this line up! Bring a reusable bag with you next time! & Mr. Cashier, scan those items, bury that money and get to serving ME before my drawers drop!

Standing in line today at the grocery store, couple of shopping bags hanging on my forearm, waiting for my change from the cashier and the woman in line behind me was, no exaggeration, standing so close to me her left arm was smushed up against my ride side.  If she would have been holding her wallet up in front of her we would have been a mirror image. Seriously?  I realize it's an express lane, the conveyer belt is shorter, this requires a smaller scale of personal space, but Lady! your arm is touching my arm! the hairs on my arm are at attention and if they had little heads with faces they'd be plastered with freaked out emotion. it's wrong. it's about as wrong as it would be for me to give a complete stranger a wet willy.  In Fact, it's too close.. I would have had to take a step back to move my arm into wet willying position.  Back the F Up. 

What's the point of all this?
whether it be the cashiers or customers shopping is whack.  
my daughter is a wise ass. 
neither my sweet, Lyla, nor the woman from the grocery store completely understand personal space. 
...there's still hope for Lyla.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

everyone wins on vacation!

"Mama, when I touch your legs they prick me with their pointy thorns."  
3 days home from vacation and 3 days without a leg shaving = pointy thorns on my legs.  ha-ha  
What a beautiful week we had away at the beach.  I put to use the Tetris skills I honed as a young adult and we managed to fit myself, daddy, Lyla, Oscar the doggy, Hanger Branch Girl the fish, all our clothing, the dog crate (thank goodness for the collapsible model) and beach gear into one we went!  Vaaroooom!  Beach or Bust!  I would have sang the Go's Go's "Vacation" the entire way there if, Lyla, would have stopped hollering, "Mama, Stop Singing!" and Daddy didn't drown me out with his own music.  Pfft.  They don't understand my Joy sometimes...if I didn't think it would have pushed their we're annoyed with Mama level into the danger zone I would have busted out Madonna's "Express Yourself" as a witty retort, but they can be so lame and bothered by my manic antics so, I just let it fly and sang silently, tapping my foot against the fish bowl nestled between my feet.  Hanger Branch Girl gets me!  or at least can't tell me otherwise...

What did we do on Vacation you ask?  I can tell you I didn't surf the net.  only played in the surf. 
We beached it's great when you can put 40+ hours into get'n sand in your crack, diving into crashing waves, digging holes, building sand cities, reading books & soaking up rays.  I'm happy to report nobody suffered from too much sun & all our early to bed nights confirmed we certainly enjoyed our fare share of fun from sunrise to sunset. 
Daddy was a legend at the arcade on night 3.  He beat the fastest time on a bicycle race game which awarded him 300 tickets.  Score!  All the workers were pointing at him whispering "he's the one who beat it."  hahaha  It was hilarious! If only for a night, he was a Legend.  We saved all our tickets for the end of the week, 2696 tickets allowed Lyla to choose from a large array of prizes.  Her choices: A stuffed Disney Pluto for 2000 tickets(she's cuddling with him as I type), a lobster claw for 300 tickets..the dog has since destroyed it because Daddy and Lyla teased him with it every chance they got, grabbing his tail and ears with the claw. haha  and Candy...of course she had to snatch up a baggie full of taffy & tootsie pops.  Best $100 we ever spent at Joe's Playland. 
I asked Daddy what his favorite part of the week was and he said it was a walk he and Lyla took together gathering shells, they'd come across an empty crab shell...Lyla asked about it and CLove when on to tell her how the crab was swimming in the waves, must have been washed on shore and the seagulls got a beak on him.  Lyla looked at him and said "tell me again, but not the seagull part."   LOL
Lyla's favorite moments change hour to hour, day to day...from jumping waves, to playing in the sand, flying her kite, looking for shells.
I'd babble on and on about how it's difficult for me to zone in on one "favorite", but these thorns on my legs are driving me nutso, time for a shave!  
I'll be back..silky smooth.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Foody Friday a Tofu Pup Experience

I do enjoy tofu.  extra firm slices with salt and pepper sprinkled on it, maybe a slice of cheese a piece of butter lettuce. mmm.  scrambled tofu with veggies. yum.  tofu burgers topped with grilled veggies on a hearty bun.  I'd never had a tofu dog.  or pup as the package read.  I'd been looking forward to trying hot dog toppings I'd come across in an issue of, Everyday Food, & picked two to try, but I have a problem with hot dogs.  I don't want to eat them & decided I'd throw these topping recipes on a healthier option.  Tofu.  I purchased real dogs from the deli for the husband, he'd never agree to even try a tofu dog. They were both delicious "toppings"  Hawaiian rang in as the hubby's favorite.  I really loved the Mexican Charred Corn Dog.  The Tofu Pups were nasty.  I would have rather had just the toppings between the bun.  The pups had this strange orange color to them & the after taste was ...ewww.  worst $3.49 I've ever spent. 


The hubby would have this one again: Hawaiian Dog.

My Favorite of the two: Mexican Charred Corn Dog.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Flea Market Finds V2

As I held the basket up to check for broken weave & asked the woman if she'd settle on 3 dollars rather than the 5 she'd written on the sticker, my husband looked at me "what do you need that for?"  ...silly man.  I glanced at him with this Duh, do you know anything look, "I'm gonna put stuff in it."  
I've been reading Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series and the moment I made the look and those words rolled off my tongue, I felt a Becky Bloomwood moment rush through me.  Thank Goodness it was a $3 basket and not a hundred dollar pair of jeans or shoes I can barely walk in.  I paid the woman and was quite pleased with my purchase.  & put stuff in it is exactly what I did...all Lyla's kitchenware.  Perfect.

Deaf in one ear puppy update:
Puppy has two ears once again, thanks to an old receiving blanket scrap, needle and thread.
Lyla has forgiven Oscar. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

broke & deaf in one ear

Why when my wallet is near dry do expenses that you never saw up like an unwanted visitor at your door.  Although, it was my own fault not keeping up with the date Oscar would need his shots, called to check on it this morning..he's due tomorrow. HA.  Perfect.  At least I was a day ahead of the cut off.  They quoted me $176 on the phone for his annual check up, lyme disease, distemper and rabies immunizations & heartworm test.  UGH.  Tomorrow.

The primary physician called for the husband, wants blood work & an office visit to talk about it, we still have $150 left to pay on our deductible, I'm sure the blood work will ring in close to that dollar & the visit will be a $30 copay.  Awesome.
Our budget misses our 'cadillac' insurance. 

Tonight we need to buy a new dehumidifier for the basement the other one crapped out last weekend, googled the issue...yeah, every complaint resembles our own trouble, guess we didn't do our due diligence on that purchase last time, there's another $200.  UGH.
So far that's almost 600 bucks worth of  "didn't see that coming" smack to the face expenses this month.
I feel violated.  Can you see the hand print on my cheek yet?  an expense assault.

I wanted to kick a wall when the light wouldn't work on the ceiling fan in the kitchen! I was one fist shaking towards the sky away from totally losing my cool when I realized it was the pull chain switch that wasn't working...a deep breath, grabbed the needle nose, screw driver, & decided to cut the power and dismantle the fan, I don't have money for a new ceiling fan and light, but I did have  I ran stairs to figure out which breaker to turn off, naturally, the ceiling light in the kitchen wasn't marked on the breaker box & it wouldn't be a day in the life if it wasn't the last damn breaker I tried.  Fist.  Shake.  Sky.   UGH.
Hit the hardware store down the street & Yippee to me, $4.98 for a simple fix.  Light. On.

Back to the dog.  I'd already made an appointment with the vet for his "wellness visit" when he started up with this whooping, something I shouldn't have had is stuck in my wind pipe & I can't breathe, snot rocketing cough.  doggy misbehavior backfire.  I think I know what he had a hard time swallowing.......

Lyla had a mini meltdown when she realized puppy was missing an ear.  She has a puppy & a kitty that travel with her on overnights.  She asked if I could fix it.  If we find the ear can he be fixed?  Um...the next time we see that ear...I'm not going there.  I'll have to make a new ear for puppy.  I noticed earlier she'd thrown all the dogs toys out on the deck and locked him out.  Tough Love.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Slow down you move too fast....

Ready, Set, GO!  that's what we've done several consecutive days that may have morphed into weeks. Go, go, Go...carnivals, playdates, parades, daily beach trips, fireworks, parties, no naps, crooked neck cat car naps, less sleep, more Go!  Welcome Summer!  Is it just me or when summer hits it's as if much of it takes place somewhere between fast forward and play, we never want to stop.  There's too much daylight to stop. "mama, I'm not going to bed, it's NOT NIGHT!" ...she nailed it.  Sure, I want her to go to bed because I've hit the wall, but even when she does, I don't.  poor choice.
Summer is Go Time & man, we're on the fast track to fun.  or maybe it's just me, Go'n.  Go'n nuts, trying to keep up with the voices in my head, some days I chase myself around tripping over my own feet, go, Go, GO.  Today...a day of slow play & near pause, one load of dishes, 3 loads of laundry, one of which consisted of stripping & washing bed linens was dare I say...relaxing...until it wasn't.  My day of rest, well as much rest as you can squeeze in.. between the needs and wants of an active child, "mama, turn on the bathroom light, I need to go pee." or, "mama, let's paint." or "mama, can I have a snack?" or "daddy, can you give me gum?" or "mama, I need to send an email on the puter." or "mama, make oscar move." or "mama, oscar has something he shouldn't." or "mama, can I have a pop?" or "daddy, can I watch mickey on your puter?" or "mama, where's daddy, can you help me find daddy?" or "mama, wanna have a tea party?" or "mama, when will oscar die?" or "mama, where's your grammy?"  or "mama, are we going to go to maddie's house again?" or "mama, can we jump in waves again?" or "mama, I'm a doctor, let me check your heart." or "mama, can I have some lucky charms?" or "mama, can I exercise?" or "mama, we can draw with saulk out in the iveday." or "mama, can I ride my bike?" or "mama, let's go mess up my room." or "mama, watch this!" ..."mama, watch this & Now, watch this!"
My body began a 'slow down' whisper on the morning of the 4th of July & I should have listened, but it's the 4th, I gotta run with it, baby & by dinner time I was done for & the body hollered. loud! with a migraine so bad my vision was blurred, I tied a belt around my head to stop the pressure because I was convinced if I didn't there would have been an explosion, took 4 showers with the hope that each would relax me enough to put an end to intermittent tears & hammering from the inside out. I tried every trick in my book without success & finally, my body and mind, so beat down...found sleep & woke up feeling fine.  Yahooo!  For a while.  It's back again, not nearly as bad, just a nagging annoyance for the time being.  I'd initially thought it may have been dehydration, but the more I think about me and each of my recurring ailments...I realize, I need to stop being stubborn & start listening more closely to my body...find a place closer to Stop other than the time I spend reading before bed.  I need more slow the f down hours when the body begins calling for them instead of waiting until I'm physically forced to a stand still.  Could it really be that simple?   Eh, If I know me, like I think I know me...I'll be back to my old wacky head stubborn ways first thing tomorrow, up & at em, attempting to make sense of all the thoughts funnel clouding my brain, making lists & checking them twice, filling the hours leaving less time to question my sanity than the day before & if that doesn't work cleaning under beds or organizing closets is always my go-to feel better get back on track leave crazy behind therapy.  & then the cycle will begin once again,  until I'm forced to stop. & think too much.  

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.

Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.
 ~Simon & Garfunkel

Thursday, June 21, 2012

my very own whaw, whaw moment

The morning started with the husband whining that he didn't have any clean white tshirts.  AND?  what would you like me to do?  twitch my nose, spin four times and wish a white shirt to materialize?  Quit Whining! Shame on me!  Worst Wife Evah!  Sorry, I'm four days behind in chores because I damn near broke my back get'n the yard, kid, food & dog ready for your Father's Day BBQ & could barely walk for two days, never mind lug laundry up and down two flights of stairs. Here's a thought, yesterday when you realized you had one clean white shirt left you should have strolled your ass downstairs and tossed in a load of whites, they're always all sorted and ready to rock.  ??  BUT, it's likely you didn't even notice you had one left, because you don't usually need to notice these things.. Because, I'm the captain of this ship & it's usually running in tip top shape.  it's all my fault for, not being the worst wife evah, but being the BEST wife evah. HA. 
Then the kid whined at first blink because it was too cold in the room with the AC. Here's an idea.  Last night when I mentioned you put on pj's you could have agreed with me instead of creating a naked uproar OR  Get up & walk out the bedroom door because it's about 97 and a half degrees out there, sweetheart.  and she did and she still whined and demanded a pair of panties and a long sleeve tshirt with a rainbow on it!   Done!   Wear it, see if I give a hoot.  in fact, wear it and how about you sweat the binky out of your mouth that you refuse to relinquish, even though you're 3 going on 6 & tell everyone you're still two..unless it suits your needs. A 3 year old can have gak and lolipops & swim in the big pool....or so I've been told.  By 9 A.M. she was shed'n the long sleeves ask'n for a bathing suit & hiding the binky away to keep it safe from the threat of disposal.
A morning wouldn't be a morning if the dog didn't try to snatch Lyla's breakfast or follow me around at the heels always step'n on the back of my Croc for my flop.  always trip'n me up...or is it keep'n me on my toes?! Today, it was so damn hot and every time I sat down he came over, as if he wanted to cuddle.  seriously?  It's damn HOT, Oscar!  Do you really need to come pant your steam'n summer breathe on me?!  for real, dog...go find some shade.  Here, take a bowl of ice cubes, a kong full of frozen peanut butter & scram.
& why am I talking about all this?   Eh, I just wanted to vent.  I did manage to survive the day...happily.  But some mornings it's like back to back slaps in the face.

Thanks for hanging in and reading me out.... if you made it this far.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Slack Attack

It's been so long since I've posted.
My notebook is full of half thought out ideas & then, I was...
....abducted by Aliens.
No, not really.  But, man...that would be a GREAT blog post!
Truth is...
I'm just an unreliable blogger....on occasion. 
I found myself get'n caught up  
Daddy's Birthday.
Daddy's Day. 
I read the 3 Fifty Shades. 
& followed that up with the 3 Hunger Games. 
& before you know it, it's the 20th of June!
It was a scorcher here in the burg, Ma.  
We played in the water, licked popsicles, drank cold beverages, snacked on ice.  kept cool.  

I'll be back before you know it!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

learn the yield

Oscar looked at me with a set of , C'mon, just trust me on this one, eyes...& finally,  I throw my arms up, "Fine, we'll go to the door and you'll see you have this all wrong."  Sure as it's rained for far too many days in a row there was a Chinese take-out menu slipped through the door handle.  & don't you know once I said it out loud he shot me the, told ya so, eyes.  Whoever pinned the menu there had ninja skills, I didn't see or hear a thing other than the dog alarm. I did the "hush, no barking, Oscar...there's nobody there. you're hearing things," As I scouted out of the nearest window.  I shushed and shooed him away, tried anyway.  He literally followed me everywhere... whining.  Laughably, it's the same way his BFF displays insistence.  I thought..I'll show him! Walked him to the door to prove there was nothing there...............hmmm.  I was so sure of myself... that didn't work out how I'd imagined.  He would have loved it had I allowed him to scratch n sniff the chicken fingerprinted menu. 
Oscar's lesson to me today: Never challenge a dog in a super sonic hearing smelling show down.

I'd prefer if, Lyla, would learn a lesson on finding rest before the worst napping hours of dinner time tick tock on the clock.  We've attempted to "rest" for longer than the last hour.  She defiantly sits straight up, stiff...for minutes at a time, quietly sassing, she doesn't need rest, then scoots up and darts away.   Repeat. There's frustration nestled between my grinding teeth.  Breathe.  In....Out.  Inhale....Exhale.  Let her have this one, it's not worth the enamel.   Oscar lays in the window, resting.  I sit & stare out the window trying to block out the non stop chatter, the harder I try the louder it becomes.  "Mama, Mama, Mama, Watch This!"  She Zigs, She Zags. She'll Zonk out...eventually. 

I'm 0 for 2 today. least the rain stopped.  before it started again. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

you're a stranger...STILL.

I forgot to mention it last week on day one of this month, Happy June!  If Mother Nature would start delivering sunshine my head would (may) be in a much better place. Although, that's debatable. All this rain is draining.  I've been circling around and around worrying about an old friend, Again...who frankly, in the sense of the word hasn't been a "friend" in so long it really shouldn't be bothering me the way it is.  It's dredged up my own feelings of  self loathing, resentment, helplessness, anger, & worry that I'd effectively put to rest, but still have life and have come alive once again because I'm trying to understand How and Why my old friend hasn't already saved her own life & stopped jeopardizing the relationships she has with her children. All the reasons I used to self medicate are now staring me in the face again & while I have claimed victory with my own demons, there are scars that run deep & there will always be tears to accompany them. I've come to accept I will always feel sadness when I remember and relive the pain & what is all this for?  I can't make the difference in her life, only she can do that now.  So here I am, not only angry with her, but angry with myself for again side tracking my sanity to try and understand her lack of it.  Back in January, I declared for the New Year I'd wash my hands of the worry for her, I have to take care of me & can't save her from herself.  I had to skim back through my blogs to remind myself.    & here it is again...6 months later ~

you're a stranger
It's been a long time since we were close friends, but I've never stopped caring about you & always wonder how you are.  It's nice when we share brief messages, but I realize now, they're empty words.  They're lies. They're not you, you are not you.  I hate the you, you have become.  I cry for your children, I cry for your parents, I cry for your brother, I cry for everyone who cries along with me, for you.  In this New Year I say goodbye to trying to understand.  I say goodbye to the tears.  I'll stop wondering if 'today' will be the day your body joins your soul & I'll shed one final tear at your funeral.  Goodbye old friend, wherever you are, I hope you find a light in your darkness. I hope you find strength in your weakness.  I hope you choose to start living.  I love you, wherever you are.  Goodbye.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Foody Friday: lick lip licking BBQ sauce

I'm all about just about any variety of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce, but then there are days where there's nothing quite like cook'n up a batch of your own...or on this particular day...two of my own.  It's as simple as measuring a few basic ingredients, deciding on a couple surprise ingredients, stirring, boiling, simmering & tasting. 
I'd had nearly a full jar of apricot preserves left over from a strawberry tart I glazed for Lyla's birthday party.  Added a spicy kick and lip licking spicy apricot bbq was born!

nearly a cup of preserves
nearly a cup of plain tomato sauce
couple tablespoons red wine vinegar
fresh garlic, one clove minced
dime size of cumin
almost two tablespoons of chili powder
dash of salt
half a dash of cayenne pepper

Brought it to a boil, simmered it until it thickened.  cooled it. basted with it.  Loved It!

The other is a recipe my husband introduced to me & has become a house favorite.

mince a small onion and a couple garlic cloves saute it in a wee bit of olive oil until tender
add ketchup 2/3 cup
a fourth cup of brown sugar
3 tbsp molasses
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
half a cup of coffee
1 tbsp ground ginger
wee bit salt

bring it to a boil, simmer several minutes until thickened and use it or store it.

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Friday, May 25, 2012

flea market finds V1

I love to rummage through tarnished, twisted old gaudy jewelry at flea markets.  & when I saw this locket I wanted it.  I had to have it!  There was a small white tag attached to the clasp with "locket $20" written in blue ink. I loved it, but not for that price or even near that price.   The woman was packing up her table, always a great sign for deal making, & as I attempted to untangle the locket chain from two other necklaces it was intertwined with I asked if she'd take 5 bucks for it.  Imagine the smile on my face when she said yes.... 

Next on the flea market find list is a fish bowl.  The woman was asking three bucks, she settled on two.  We had clear glass balls and colored glass blocks at home packed away from a previous tank I'd had years ago...dug them out & for under $10 we purchased a fish, food and plant.  Lyla had wanted a Goldfish, but we were advised they're better off in larger tanks with filters..dirty little buggers.  Lyla's first fish is a male Betta named, Hanger Branch Girl.  The "girl" means he's not a boy anymore.

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