Thursday, February 23, 2012

Battles Won & Ongoing

Lyla has an imaginary, Geo, from Team Umizoomi.. who was eager to travel with us to do errands this morning....she said. & yes, I was asked to accommodate his needs & open & close the car door for him at every stop we made & yes I received a few odd glances from folks who didn't grasp why I was opening & closing car doors with no obvious reason ...in sight. Duh, People...get with the imaginary friend gig! We could have lost, Geo, in the baking aisle at the supermarket if we hadn't traced our steps back..because well... why would we want to make a trip to the supermarket simple and quick, that would be just plain Crazy. I'll gladly entertain a ride with & search for Geo if Lyla continues wanting to rock Milly ponytails. Hello, Brush & Comb! I've been finger combing her hair in a game of catch me if you can because a comb or a brush in hand meant meltdown. There's not a day on this earth I want to take part in a battle over a hairbrush. Heck no. Now we're both winning...I didn't stress & she doesn't look like a scrub. HA.
I was relieved when Lyla spotted Geo near the brownie mix.. it only took us three aisles of back tracking. I spent all that time looking for Geo and I forgot a few items I hadn't written on my list, but had instead added to an amended 'mental' list in the wee hours of the morning when I randomly woke up & decided the hour was perfect to start thinking about crap that just doesn't matter. Three nights in a row now...2 until about 3:30ish A.M. I lay there and make a plan, a list, or think about how the battle of the binky is all on me...I'm an enabler. The binky has been falling out of her mouth at night when she finds that mouth gaping state...the wiggle your fingers around my face, but I'm out...believe it...I can't hear, feel or see them, I could drool at any moment, state. I'll finally fall into the light sleep I've been conditioned to believe is sleep.. since pregnancy three plus years ago, and it happens...I hear her. She's grinding her teeth. It sends chills up my spine...perfect.. I'm awake again, now with anxiety that her teeth will be little chipped up tic tacs in the morning...so, I find that binky and pop it back in after I whisper "you're grinding your teeth" in her ear. binky enabler.
Daddy grinds his teeth & he doesn't have a binky....he does, however, wear a night guard & I'm sure this Spring when we visit the dentist he will recommend a guard for Lyla...which will end with ...no more binky. the pricey route.
I never realized how common teeth grinding is in children. Then again, before now, why would I need to know that?
I wonder if there's an episode of Team Umizoomi where Milly wears a night guard?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Surviving the Joys of Sharing & Aging...barely.

I know I've been slacking when it comes to dropping crumbs here, but I have been trying...notebook by my side jotting down ideas, it's just every time I pull out a pen and paper I have to share it with the half pint. Annoying! So, I share and go find something else to do, which she then "shares" with me. I'm going to sound completely nuts here, but can't I even fold laundry by myself?! I know..who the heck wants to fold laundry, let alone doesn't want help with it? ME! Lately, the NO ME TIME is driving ME CRAZY. It's making my neck tense, my jaw clench & my eyes bulge. I try to hide & there is no place to hide, she always finds me! She has a nose like a bloodhound. I play it off as Hide and Seek. I waited and waited to have a child because I wasn't ready to give up ME & when I was ready to even consider it, we began the procreate challenge, which wasn't easy for us, I remember my doctor telling me after my 3rd miscarriage "your ovaries aren't get'n any younger"...haha Thanks, Witch, way to soften the blow...but, as much as I thought I was ready for selflessness, you never are..completely. I never sat down and actually thought about not being able to sit in a bathroom and poop alone. To find a bit of silence is next to impossible unless I rise with the sun or stay up past my bedtime, which in the end only dismantles my sanity anyway, it's a lose lose. I know..I know...woe is me. Could be worse..I could be get'n old. OH WAIT! I am...the joys of aging are upon me and so is FORTY! Yup, this May I'll be 40 and with 40 comes my first mammogram screening, my poor sagging boobies, if I lay on my back I could probably tuck them under my armpits. ATTRACTIVE! & my first dermatology appointment to check out a mole on my aging wrinkling skin & sometimes when I run(slowly), walk or just stand up my ankle or my knee cracks and just gives out, my knee gave out 3 times this morning as I stood at the sink doing dishes...seriously? My skin is drier than it's ever been, my fingertips cracked and weathered, I'm really beginning to look reptile like, if only I could shed this aging skin and start fresh. My back hurts, my shoulders ache. My eyes ache. Sometimes in the morning when I first get out of bed my feet hurt so bad that I hobble like I'm in need of walker, grabbing onto furniture and door frames just hoping I don't go down & crack a hip or elbow. BUT, at the end of the day would I change any of it? F yeah! if I had money for plastic surgery or the map to the fountain of youth, or could create a clone of myself to stand in for me while I do #2 on the potty. Until then...I'll keep on, keeping on. crack. whimper. yawn.