on May 7th, 1972 at 6:25 p.m., I began my journey outside the womb into this big bright world. it was 40 years ago. holy mackerel. a week ago my husband told me to figure out where I wanted to eat dinner for my birthday tonight. I seriously could not make a decision. I've been riddled with anxiety about this birthday & really it's no big deal in the big scheme, but some things I just can't control...like get'n old. today was a beautiful day so, I decided to hit up the seafood market grab some shrimp & steamers, I wanted to spend my birthday dinner in our backyard with my two favorites while I dropped buttery clams down the hatch, Perfect! OH..a cake. We'd need dessert & I remembered I'd set a recipe aside that I'd planned to make for Lyla's party as an 'extra' but just didn't have time to pull off...chocolate peanut butter fun cake! FUN! Now, it's 9:34 p.m. and I'm just sitting down...maybe I should have just made up my mind on eating out because damn, it was a lot of work to cook it all, clean it all & then prep beef stroganoff for the crock pot that I'll wake up at 4 a.m. to fire up for the husband to bring to work tomorrow. Yay Me! & if you sense attitude...yeah, you're right on the money. This morning I have to admit I was a little disappointed when I woke up to make & pack the husbands lunch and there wasn't a card for me. We don't exchange gifts for Birthdays or Holidays, but a card, store bought or homemade, is the norm around here to mark special days. Then, I thought...well, maybe he's just waiting until after work when we're all hanging out. Nope. No card from the husband & fortunately, for me...my mom had Lyla on Saturday so, she helped her make me a birthday card. If it weren't for my mom step'n up, Lyla wouldn't have had a card for me either. & maybe it's silly & I'm over reacting because anxiety has beat me up and down for weeks and it's meltdown time...but, it just would have been a nice sentiment to have something mark today as "special" from my family other than the dinner & cake I made for myself. (which btw was delicious) Damn, C Love, why not tell me to sleep in with Lyla and you'll make your own lunch in the morning & wake up at the crack to put the crock pot on for your work luncheon, or how about you offered to do the dishes tonight, or run off into the other room and make a shifty card from printer paper once you realize I'm feeling down about it?! My Dentist office staff all took the time to sign a card & mail it to me, but my husband....Nope. "I didn't think you wanted to make a big deal about your birthday." Are you kidding me? Since when is a Birthday Card a Big Deal? That doesn't even make sense to me....it's a card, not a skywriting! It's too late now & I'm sure in a few days we'll laugh about it....but, man..in this moment, I'm almost speechless. On the flip side, Lyla & I had a great morning at gymnastics & running errands to prepare the Birthday dinner. She helped me bake, we soaked up the beauty of the day outside, she put on make-up to look beautiful for my Birthday & then asked if she looked creepy. Ha-Ha I couldn't have asked for a better day....weather wise that's for sure & so many friends and family touched base to wish me a super day, I can't be too upset about one weak link in the chain.....& maybe next year I'll get two cards now.
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