Sunday, July 29, 2012


"Mama, more milk and syrup please, with a snack from the cabinet", I haven't mentally processed her first requests, she's barely taken a breathe before she's shouting more at her servant, "Mama can you put on one of my shows & can you do it all at once?"   Ha-Ha.  My, "I'm only one person with two legs and two arms, I can't do everything at once",  will undoubtedly haunt me for years to come if she's already throwing it back at me at the young age of three.

Standing in line at Family Dollar the other day, a package of Princess Pull Ups in my hand, toddler hanging from my pants.  Literally.  The child insists on hanging from my clothing.  It annoys me to the moon and back...imagine it...suddenly,  I'm there, bare ass in the line at the store.  It gives me anxiety. I'm milk white nearly iridescent from the cleavage to the high thigh..someone could be blinded if too much of that beaming light skin is exposed. She's a shirt grabber, too. V Necks, forget about it. crew necks are now v necks..may as well whip out the breast on my own accord because she's gonna pull the neck of that shirt down before I get the words "don't pull on my shirt" out.   I should just throw my arms up and live naked...she'll nickname me, Mama the naked Hero.  She's bare ass as often as she can be...we'll be the naked duo.   I know. Ewww. I gave myself the heebeegeebies with that mental image.  sorry about that.
Sooooo....where was I?
Standing in line at Family Dollar..for what felt like forever & I realized what's more annoying than the kid hanging from my clothing is the cashier who with a 7 people deep line is yakkety yak'n it up with customers. I'm all about polite customer relations, BUT hello, you're over doing it. I'm not interested in hearing your opinion of how plastic shopping bags are flimsier than ever before, the guy behind me isn't interested either, I can tell by the way he's shifting his weight from right to left foot & back again, he's harboring aggravation. The married senior couple the cashier is chatting with must have stock in plastic shopping bags, they're interest is piqued, I'm waiting for them to break out the tea and cookies as the cashier continues with his degradation of the plastic shopping bag discussion. wrap it up, folks!  Grab your chintzy shopping bag and lets move this line up! Bring a reusable bag with you next time! & Mr. Cashier, scan those items, bury that money and get to serving ME before my drawers drop!

Standing in line today at the grocery store, couple of shopping bags hanging on my forearm, waiting for my change from the cashier and the woman in line behind me was, no exaggeration, standing so close to me her left arm was smushed up against my ride side.  If she would have been holding her wallet up in front of her we would have been a mirror image. Seriously?  I realize it's an express lane, the conveyer belt is shorter, this requires a smaller scale of personal space, but Lady! your arm is touching my arm! the hairs on my arm are at attention and if they had little heads with faces they'd be plastered with freaked out emotion. it's wrong. it's about as wrong as it would be for me to give a complete stranger a wet willy.  In Fact, it's too close.. I would have had to take a step back to move my arm into wet willying position.  Back the F Up. 

What's the point of all this?
whether it be the cashiers or customers shopping is whack.  
my daughter is a wise ass. 
neither my sweet, Lyla, nor the woman from the grocery store completely understand personal space. 
...there's still hope for Lyla.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

everyone wins on vacation!

"Mama, when I touch your legs they prick me with their pointy thorns."  
3 days home from vacation and 3 days without a leg shaving = pointy thorns on my legs.  ha-ha  
What a beautiful week we had away at the beach.  I put to use the Tetris skills I honed as a young adult and we managed to fit myself, daddy, Lyla, Oscar the doggy, Hanger Branch Girl the fish, all our clothing, the dog crate (thank goodness for the collapsible model) and beach gear into one we went!  Vaaroooom!  Beach or Bust!  I would have sang the Go's Go's "Vacation" the entire way there if, Lyla, would have stopped hollering, "Mama, Stop Singing!" and Daddy didn't drown me out with his own music.  Pfft.  They don't understand my Joy sometimes...if I didn't think it would have pushed their we're annoyed with Mama level into the danger zone I would have busted out Madonna's "Express Yourself" as a witty retort, but they can be so lame and bothered by my manic antics so, I just let it fly and sang silently, tapping my foot against the fish bowl nestled between my feet.  Hanger Branch Girl gets me!  or at least can't tell me otherwise...

What did we do on Vacation you ask?  I can tell you I didn't surf the net.  only played in the surf. 
We beached it's great when you can put 40+ hours into get'n sand in your crack, diving into crashing waves, digging holes, building sand cities, reading books & soaking up rays.  I'm happy to report nobody suffered from too much sun & all our early to bed nights confirmed we certainly enjoyed our fare share of fun from sunrise to sunset. 
Daddy was a legend at the arcade on night 3.  He beat the fastest time on a bicycle race game which awarded him 300 tickets.  Score!  All the workers were pointing at him whispering "he's the one who beat it."  hahaha  It was hilarious! If only for a night, he was a Legend.  We saved all our tickets for the end of the week, 2696 tickets allowed Lyla to choose from a large array of prizes.  Her choices: A stuffed Disney Pluto for 2000 tickets(she's cuddling with him as I type), a lobster claw for 300 tickets..the dog has since destroyed it because Daddy and Lyla teased him with it every chance they got, grabbing his tail and ears with the claw. haha  and Candy...of course she had to snatch up a baggie full of taffy & tootsie pops.  Best $100 we ever spent at Joe's Playland. 
I asked Daddy what his favorite part of the week was and he said it was a walk he and Lyla took together gathering shells, they'd come across an empty crab shell...Lyla asked about it and CLove when on to tell her how the crab was swimming in the waves, must have been washed on shore and the seagulls got a beak on him.  Lyla looked at him and said "tell me again, but not the seagull part."   LOL
Lyla's favorite moments change hour to hour, day to day...from jumping waves, to playing in the sand, flying her kite, looking for shells.
I'd babble on and on about how it's difficult for me to zone in on one "favorite", but these thorns on my legs are driving me nutso, time for a shave!  
I'll be back..silky smooth.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Foody Friday a Tofu Pup Experience

I do enjoy tofu.  extra firm slices with salt and pepper sprinkled on it, maybe a slice of cheese a piece of butter lettuce. mmm.  scrambled tofu with veggies. yum.  tofu burgers topped with grilled veggies on a hearty bun.  I'd never had a tofu dog.  or pup as the package read.  I'd been looking forward to trying hot dog toppings I'd come across in an issue of, Everyday Food, & picked two to try, but I have a problem with hot dogs.  I don't want to eat them & decided I'd throw these topping recipes on a healthier option.  Tofu.  I purchased real dogs from the deli for the husband, he'd never agree to even try a tofu dog. They were both delicious "toppings"  Hawaiian rang in as the hubby's favorite.  I really loved the Mexican Charred Corn Dog.  The Tofu Pups were nasty.  I would have rather had just the toppings between the bun.  The pups had this strange orange color to them & the after taste was ...ewww.  worst $3.49 I've ever spent. 


The hubby would have this one again: Hawaiian Dog.

My Favorite of the two: Mexican Charred Corn Dog.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Flea Market Finds V2

As I held the basket up to check for broken weave & asked the woman if she'd settle on 3 dollars rather than the 5 she'd written on the sticker, my husband looked at me "what do you need that for?"  ...silly man.  I glanced at him with this Duh, do you know anything look, "I'm gonna put stuff in it."  
I've been reading Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series and the moment I made the look and those words rolled off my tongue, I felt a Becky Bloomwood moment rush through me.  Thank Goodness it was a $3 basket and not a hundred dollar pair of jeans or shoes I can barely walk in.  I paid the woman and was quite pleased with my purchase.  & put stuff in it is exactly what I did...all Lyla's kitchenware.  Perfect.

Deaf in one ear puppy update:
Puppy has two ears once again, thanks to an old receiving blanket scrap, needle and thread.
Lyla has forgiven Oscar. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

broke & deaf in one ear

Why when my wallet is near dry do expenses that you never saw up like an unwanted visitor at your door.  Although, it was my own fault not keeping up with the date Oscar would need his shots, called to check on it this morning..he's due tomorrow. HA.  Perfect.  At least I was a day ahead of the cut off.  They quoted me $176 on the phone for his annual check up, lyme disease, distemper and rabies immunizations & heartworm test.  UGH.  Tomorrow.

The primary physician called for the husband, wants blood work & an office visit to talk about it, we still have $150 left to pay on our deductible, I'm sure the blood work will ring in close to that dollar & the visit will be a $30 copay.  Awesome.
Our budget misses our 'cadillac' insurance. 

Tonight we need to buy a new dehumidifier for the basement the other one crapped out last weekend, googled the issue...yeah, every complaint resembles our own trouble, guess we didn't do our due diligence on that purchase last time, there's another $200.  UGH.
So far that's almost 600 bucks worth of  "didn't see that coming" smack to the face expenses this month.
I feel violated.  Can you see the hand print on my cheek yet?  an expense assault.

I wanted to kick a wall when the light wouldn't work on the ceiling fan in the kitchen! I was one fist shaking towards the sky away from totally losing my cool when I realized it was the pull chain switch that wasn't working...a deep breath, grabbed the needle nose, screw driver, & decided to cut the power and dismantle the fan, I don't have money for a new ceiling fan and light, but I did have  I ran stairs to figure out which breaker to turn off, naturally, the ceiling light in the kitchen wasn't marked on the breaker box & it wouldn't be a day in the life if it wasn't the last damn breaker I tried.  Fist.  Shake.  Sky.   UGH.
Hit the hardware store down the street & Yippee to me, $4.98 for a simple fix.  Light. On.

Back to the dog.  I'd already made an appointment with the vet for his "wellness visit" when he started up with this whooping, something I shouldn't have had is stuck in my wind pipe & I can't breathe, snot rocketing cough.  doggy misbehavior backfire.  I think I know what he had a hard time swallowing.......

Lyla had a mini meltdown when she realized puppy was missing an ear.  She has a puppy & a kitty that travel with her on overnights.  She asked if I could fix it.  If we find the ear can he be fixed?  Um...the next time we see that ear...I'm not going there.  I'll have to make a new ear for puppy.  I noticed earlier she'd thrown all the dogs toys out on the deck and locked him out.  Tough Love.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Slow down you move too fast....

Ready, Set, GO!  that's what we've done several consecutive days that may have morphed into weeks. Go, go, Go...carnivals, playdates, parades, daily beach trips, fireworks, parties, no naps, crooked neck cat car naps, less sleep, more Go!  Welcome Summer!  Is it just me or when summer hits it's as if much of it takes place somewhere between fast forward and play, we never want to stop.  There's too much daylight to stop. "mama, I'm not going to bed, it's NOT NIGHT!" ...she nailed it.  Sure, I want her to go to bed because I've hit the wall, but even when she does, I don't.  poor choice.
Summer is Go Time & man, we're on the fast track to fun.  or maybe it's just me, Go'n.  Go'n nuts, trying to keep up with the voices in my head, some days I chase myself around tripping over my own feet, go, Go, GO.  Today...a day of slow play & near pause, one load of dishes, 3 loads of laundry, one of which consisted of stripping & washing bed linens was dare I say...relaxing...until it wasn't.  My day of rest, well as much rest as you can squeeze in.. between the needs and wants of an active child, "mama, turn on the bathroom light, I need to go pee." or, "mama, let's paint." or "mama, can I have a snack?" or "daddy, can you give me gum?" or "mama, I need to send an email on the puter." or "mama, make oscar move." or "mama, oscar has something he shouldn't." or "mama, can I have a pop?" or "daddy, can I watch mickey on your puter?" or "mama, where's daddy, can you help me find daddy?" or "mama, wanna have a tea party?" or "mama, when will oscar die?" or "mama, where's your grammy?"  or "mama, are we going to go to maddie's house again?" or "mama, can we jump in waves again?" or "mama, I'm a doctor, let me check your heart." or "mama, can I have some lucky charms?" or "mama, can I exercise?" or "mama, we can draw with saulk out in the iveday." or "mama, can I ride my bike?" or "mama, let's go mess up my room." or "mama, watch this!" ..."mama, watch this & Now, watch this!"
My body began a 'slow down' whisper on the morning of the 4th of July & I should have listened, but it's the 4th, I gotta run with it, baby & by dinner time I was done for & the body hollered. loud! with a migraine so bad my vision was blurred, I tied a belt around my head to stop the pressure because I was convinced if I didn't there would have been an explosion, took 4 showers with the hope that each would relax me enough to put an end to intermittent tears & hammering from the inside out. I tried every trick in my book without success & finally, my body and mind, so beat down...found sleep & woke up feeling fine.  Yahooo!  For a while.  It's back again, not nearly as bad, just a nagging annoyance for the time being.  I'd initially thought it may have been dehydration, but the more I think about me and each of my recurring ailments...I realize, I need to stop being stubborn & start listening more closely to my body...find a place closer to Stop other than the time I spend reading before bed.  I need more slow the f down hours when the body begins calling for them instead of waiting until I'm physically forced to a stand still.  Could it really be that simple?   Eh, If I know me, like I think I know me...I'll be back to my old wacky head stubborn ways first thing tomorrow, up & at em, attempting to make sense of all the thoughts funnel clouding my brain, making lists & checking them twice, filling the hours leaving less time to question my sanity than the day before & if that doesn't work cleaning under beds or organizing closets is always my go-to feel better get back on track leave crazy behind therapy.  & then the cycle will begin once again,  until I'm forced to stop. & think too much.  

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.

Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.
 ~Simon & Garfunkel