Thursday, July 5, 2012

Slow down you move too fast....

Ready, Set, GO!  that's what we've done several consecutive days that may have morphed into weeks. Go, go, Go...carnivals, playdates, parades, daily beach trips, fireworks, parties, no naps, crooked neck cat car naps, less sleep, more Go!  Welcome Summer!  Is it just me or when summer hits it's as if much of it takes place somewhere between fast forward and play, we never want to stop.  There's too much daylight to stop. "mama, I'm not going to bed, it's NOT NIGHT!" ...she nailed it.  Sure, I want her to go to bed because I've hit the wall, but even when she does, I don't.  poor choice.
Summer is Go Time & man, we're on the fast track to fun.  or maybe it's just me, Go'n.  Go'n nuts, trying to keep up with the voices in my head, some days I chase myself around tripping over my own feet, go, Go, GO.  Today...a day of slow play & near pause, one load of dishes, 3 loads of laundry, one of which consisted of stripping & washing bed linens was dare I say...relaxing...until it wasn't.  My day of rest, well as much rest as you can squeeze in.. between the needs and wants of an active child, "mama, turn on the bathroom light, I need to go pee." or, "mama, let's paint." or "mama, can I have a snack?" or "daddy, can you give me gum?" or "mama, I need to send an email on the puter." or "mama, make oscar move." or "mama, oscar has something he shouldn't." or "mama, can I have a pop?" or "daddy, can I watch mickey on your puter?" or "mama, where's daddy, can you help me find daddy?" or "mama, wanna have a tea party?" or "mama, when will oscar die?" or "mama, where's your grammy?"  or "mama, are we going to go to maddie's house again?" or "mama, can we jump in waves again?" or "mama, I'm a doctor, let me check your heart." or "mama, can I have some lucky charms?" or "mama, can I exercise?" or "mama, we can draw with saulk out in the iveday." or "mama, can I ride my bike?" or "mama, let's go mess up my room." or "mama, watch this!" ..."mama, watch this & Now, watch this!"
My body began a 'slow down' whisper on the morning of the 4th of July & I should have listened, but it's the 4th, I gotta run with it, baby & by dinner time I was done for & the body hollered. loud! with a migraine so bad my vision was blurred, I tied a belt around my head to stop the pressure because I was convinced if I didn't there would have been an explosion, took 4 showers with the hope that each would relax me enough to put an end to intermittent tears & hammering from the inside out. I tried every trick in my book without success & finally, my body and mind, so beat down...found sleep & woke up feeling fine.  Yahooo!  For a while.  It's back again, not nearly as bad, just a nagging annoyance for the time being.  I'd initially thought it may have been dehydration, but the more I think about me and each of my recurring ailments...I realize, I need to stop being stubborn & start listening more closely to my body...find a place closer to Stop other than the time I spend reading before bed.  I need more slow the f down hours when the body begins calling for them instead of waiting until I'm physically forced to a stand still.  Could it really be that simple?   Eh, If I know me, like I think I know me...I'll be back to my old wacky head stubborn ways first thing tomorrow, up & at em, attempting to make sense of all the thoughts funnel clouding my brain, making lists & checking them twice, filling the hours leaving less time to question my sanity than the day before & if that doesn't work cleaning under beds or organizing closets is always my go-to feel better get back on track leave crazy behind therapy.  & then the cycle will begin once again,  until I'm forced to stop. & think too much.  


Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo,
Feelin' groovy.

Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.
 ~Simon & Garfunkel

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