Monday, February 25, 2013

Lightening the Load v12

Holy Canoli Drizzed with Fudge!  Only 2 weeks left before I motorboat a bowl of pasta coated in full fat cheese with a meatball and a side of fried calamari, french fries & a greasy cheeseburger with Bacon. and mayonnaise. & a large pizza extra cheese.  toss in a three whole egg omelet with broccoli and cheddar.  & homefries! hash!  a steak & cheese with mayonnaise and hots.  An Italian Sub dressed with oil.  corn chowder!   OR I'll probably settle for a nice juicy steak and a couple martinis.  With 14 days left I haven't reached a 10% loss yet, but I'm dancing around it.  It could be a real possibility to reach the secondary 12% loss.  I'm not exactly sure how everyone else is doing in this challenge, there are talks of an already 11% loss, questionable whether it's truthful disclosure or an attempt to induce early defeat & weight gaining grub'n.  I'm sand bag'n to the finish & going balls to the wall for the W, the numbers will speak in two weeks.  

I feel Great!  If I don't include my full on exhaustion from 3 days of social engaging activities.  Not to mention 3 different cakes/cupcakes I had to decline to stay on my weight loss track.  The cheat friendly situations I conquered is almost comical.  A gauntlet of sugary sweets. As if weekends aren't difficult enough when it comes to a steadfast healthy low calorie eating regimen. 

It's Monday.  Hooray! 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

lightening the load v11

Day 30!  Holy Crikey!  Thirty days without overloading on carbohydrates or portions large enough for both, Paul & his ox?!   I have to be honest, I almost caved during the weekend Blizzard. Stuck inside craving greasy steak & cheese, lasagna, meatballs, sausage, chicken parm, potato skins, spinach dip with a loaf of bread, linguine with garlic oil.  ugh.  I buckled up and maneuvered through cabin fever with healthy eating precision. Sort of.  I did have that one tooth snarling, mouth scoffing brownie incident, but it was either that or pms violence...'ain't nobody got time for that!'
  
Last week during full on premenstrual bloat I hopped on the scale.  and hopped off as if my feet grazed red hot coals.   Five friggen pounds of bloat.  Dude, I was under serious mental duress after I watched that needle climb. Yes...I do have an old ass scale with the needle & Yes, it is 2013.  After my eyes set sight on what at my best guestimate..with my failing eyes and those itty bitty lines on my dial scale..it was a five pound increase from the prior week. I felt slapped with defeat & was one pot of boiling water away from twirling my fork through lip licking linguine and garlic oil with a mound of cheese.  I would have spun those oil glazed noodles through that mountain of freshly grated with a toothy grin plastered across my, not yet slim enough, face.  yum.
*Snap out of it*
I found a moment of clarity somewhere between a snack of pineapple and a handful of Triscuits . I knew if I didn't freak out and hunt for food to heal my bloated superficial wound I'd survive the Blizzard of 2013 with my weight loss in check.  Mostly.  ha.  I say that now, because I'm remembering a dough ball of monkey bread I took down in two bites.  One Hundred and Sixty Calories in Two Bites!  Never had monkey bread before & I felt obligated to try it because it was a gift package from the Holidays.  Excuses. Excuses.  HA.   Whatever the battle between my ears is for my monkey bread chomping, it was good, but Not two bites for a 160 calories good.

I'm proud to report: another two pounds lost after I dropped Aunt Dot off with all her luggage.  I'll take it!  Day 30 and 14 pounds shed.   Twenty-six more days to go before I find out if I win this weight loss challenge.   No, let me correct myself...before.. I Win, this weight loss challenge.  Ha!   There is some stiff competition. I'm hoping because of all my excess flab I can continue to lose the way I have been right up until the end and those lighter competitors will be stopped dead in their already smaller tracks a week or two before the finish.  I'm still in a bit of shock of how far I've come in such a short time.  It's almost as quick as I'd gained it.  That Never happens!  Ever!  ...Until now.   I've been day dreaming about my next weight goal & keep telling myself.  One.  One pound. One day.  One goal.  ...at a time. 






Saturday, February 9, 2013

lightening the load v10

her top lip slowly slid up over her eye teeth,  her eyes scanning with a determined intensity. there had to be something to quiet the craving monster within. there were grunts, lip smacks, appeasing sighs, & then silence.

strawberry frosted brownie.  not a crumb left.


day three of premenstrual syndrome. 
white flag.

peace.


Monday, February 4, 2013

lightening the load v9

Entering week four of the eight week weight loss challenge.  Halfway there!  almost.  Total loss 22 days in is Twelve pounds!  OH Yah,  That's Right! HIGH FIVE!  In some aspects it's been pretty easy to get to today. I haven't been starving myself, although there have been brief moments when I felt famished.. it was my mind playing tricks & it's so tempting to just fall back into bad habits.  Portions too large.  The adhering to serving sizes that seem so tiny because I've been over sizing for so long.  What?  a piece of chicken no bigger than my fist?  What is this, the kids menu? Bites out of boredom, stress, and sadness. It would feel 'normal' for me to stop thinking about change & just go with what I know.  Hello!  What I know bought me a fat ass!  I'm determined to keep telling my head to STFU.   The eating healthy is easy, I grew up on all the foods I've fallen back on during this challenge.  The adjusting my relationship with food is proving to be the battle, a battle I'm 'losing' my ass off to win.  It's a struggle.. a constant nagging in my head.  STFU!! Emotional eating is a hard habit to break.  so far...so good.
It's a bit more work to wash, dry and cut fruit or steam some veggies for a snack than opening a prepackaged 'snacky', but I've always been a fan of fresh fruit.. that work isn't 'new', something about fruit in a plastic bowl on a shelf in a store gives me the heebie jeebies. That crap is for bunkers.  I never, before this challenge, would have had half an oven roasted acorn squash as a snack or lunch, but for 115 calories it's a great option. I never would have taken the yolk from the egg off my plate if I wasn't constantly calculating calories in my head.. "that's 50 calories."  For a Yolk?  Take it! I'd rather mix in the protein with some beans, nuts or cheese...50 for a yolk is a joke. Having to sometimes make two dinners is New...half the stuff I've been eating the husband doesn't want to set an eye on, let alone scoop up and chew it.  I'd bet all the money I win in this challenge, once I win it...that he has never in his life had a bite of a piece of eggplant.  I bet he doesn't know what kale looks like.  He told me my brussels sprouts smelled like farts.  yeah. they did.  and they make me gassy, too.  Ha-ha I knew he wasn't a vegetable wiz way back during our first couple years together in the 90's, he saw a jar of artichoke hearts on the refrigerator door and told me that I was disgusting if I eat a heart of an animal.  Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!  I still laugh just as hard today when I think of it.  Hilarious.  I love him.  He's doing well on the "did you, you should, good job" list of ways to help me through the changes I'm making.  He's still indulging hardcore on the weekends, which tests my will. I'm a bit envious.  BUT...I want to Win!  As he was sliding his leftover meat lovers pizza box into the fridge he touched the tofu container and shivered with disgust.  Really?  That's a bit dramatic, Cowboy.  If he tried at least one bite of my tofu burger on a pita quarter with some fixings he'd probably be pleasantly surprised & it's under 200 calories!
My Super Bowl menu was a bit different than his, he made delicious looking and smelling wings, I could have had a couple to just try, but decided it better to step back and make my own thing.  I did splurge on a piece of calzone & took tiny bites to savor the greasy goodness.

Wings from the oven, dipped in vegetable oil, salt & pepper and then baked for 50 on 450.



Honey, Ginger & Soy Wings.  & Hot Wings
You can catch a glimpse of the corner of the bowl with my portabella mushroom, zucchini and red onion stir fry.










My mushroom wrap ingredients were 219 calories, the burrito wrap 170. 





Calzone with Genoa Salami, Hot Capicola and Provolone  was 311 a serving.





For breakfast I  had some coffee and an egg white scramble with eggplant, bean sprouts, pepper and onion for a total of 116 calories.  Between lunch and dinner I had an acorn squash with drizzled honey for 140 calories and a cup of tea.





After dinner I had a bit of salsa and nacho chips, it was a perfect ending to a low calorie Super Bowl Sunday!  I'd planned to have a few beers, but just never felt the need.  My 55 calorie Bud Selects are still chilling...for now.





Saturday, February 2, 2013

Happy Groundhog Day!

It appears the skin on my face is irritated with my new eating habits.  ?? WTF.  you'd think it would be glowing with the overkill of fresh vegetables and fruit I've consumed in the last 18 days, but the red splotches and beneath the skin pimples prove otherwise.  I'm caught in this battle between covering it up with make up to make me feel prettier, or swipe it with alcohol to dry it and leave my face bare to breathe and look like a pimply mess.  

Update on above:  Three days after I began & never finished this post.  It has cleared up, for the most part.  Thanks Goodness.  Every time I looked at my face in the mirror I felt anxious, it looked as if someone had used my face as a pin cushion, or could it be I have an enemy with a voodoo habit, that would be interesting, but I'm confident it's just another "surprise"  you're getting older and falling apart!  Welcome to middle aged acne.  ha.  The Joys of aging.  I did give myself a good one, twice, thrice over with a swab of alcohol and refrained from makeup for a couple days.  Yeah, alcohol on winter dry skin was interesting.  What's worse... A red splotchy pimple face or a face that looks like peeling paint?  

Stay tuned for an update on the weight loss front & Enjoy your Superbowl weekend!