Monday, October 7, 2013

Exhale....

Hi!  My name is Mama Crumb and I totally suck at timely blogging.

There, got that out of the way.

Happy Fall!  My favorite time of year.  Sweater/Sweatshirt weather!  Except, I've been battling this anxiety issue a few times a week, for nearly a month.  Wicked Fun! *eye roll*  Having anything around my neck once it hits makes me crazy to a point of panic, I'm sitting here now...shirtless, tore it off in a fit of freaked out tears. As if not wearing a shirt somehow helps the air flow?!  Free the Ta Ta's!  Now if I were wearing one of those shirts it may make more sense.  The choking feeling is the first sign of an anxiety attack coming on if I don't count the headache that occasionally shows up a day or two in advance...guess I should be thankful I have some warning so, I can brace myself for the blurry vision.  That's what's happening next...my face flushes, I feel like I can't breathe and my eyes go whack, like I'm wearing a prescription that's too strong.  I wish knowing why was quick and easy. It's my number one goal now to start keeping a journal, an anxiety column along side my calorie counting column in my weight loss journal.  Ha. Is this how I'm going to deal with all the aches, pains, gains and attacks of aging?  Something tells me I'm going to need a whole lot of columns.  Anyway, my goal and hopes are to narrow down possible external triggers, dissect and reign myself back down to my 'mostly' anxiety free warped world.. all while staying clear of a head doctor holding a prescription pad.  Damn it, it's sweater/sweatshirt weather and it's get'n a lil too chilly for tank tops or shirtless & my wallet doesn't hold funds to buy a v-neck wardrobe.   If things work to my advantage I'll put a turtleneck on my list to Santa.

Breathe.
I officially have a psychological disorder.
In.
Out.
Psycho.
Inhale.
Exhale.


Breathe.
I can Breathe.