Sunday, September 20, 2015

Doe in the after light

It's been a long time.  This place has been on my mind, & my mind has spun plenty of words...I just never found the right time to come and lock em in.  I welcome myself back and I welcome you back to my Brain Crumbs.  I sought this place out because tonight feels different, I can't talk myself off the cliff I'm dangling, can't shake the thoughts.  My dreams last night were clouded with half dazed hours of reckless sleep, my night at work was full of half focused confusion.  I can't get out of my own head since we discovered the identity of Baby Doe.   I'm so incredibly sorry, Bella Bond, we all failed you.
I'm spinning.  My mind is a whirlwind.

A history of drug abuse that dates back more years than I can't count on two hands, transitory lifestyle drizzled with common night walking.
Two children removed from her care because she was deemed unfit to parent.
A revolving door of "prince charmings."
A third child is born, within the first 2 years of this youngters life,  Two cases of neglect with DCF are opened and closed and the young child is left under the care of her mother without further action.
Did you read all that?
Did you read it and think WTF?  No.  Then you're crazy and should seek help.
Third time in this senario is never a good thing. Your parental rights should be revoked!  There should never be a three strikes & you're out rule when it comes to innocent children.  You are F*n done straight out the pen.
A history like that & we leave a young child under her care?!    We're shitheads.

Everyone involved with this woman who gave the green light to leave this child under her care should throw every buck they have in the therapy jar, cuz done, F*d the F Up.   Friends she made in shelters are quoted as saying her daughter was always so happy.   Are we doing enough for these woman and children in shelters?  & if it's a question mark, then we're not.  Do you know what that means?  It means we're setting these children up to fail.   We're shitheads.

Actively participating in the death of her child was not a goal this woman set for herself to achieve, it was the result of our failure as a society to address the real problems.  I believe that with every fiber of my being.  Forty, she's Forty.  That's a long timeline splattered with criminal arrests and DCF encounters, that given the right timing, persuasion, and programs, could have helped this woman before she let down any more children.  Before her "third times the charm" died by the hands of one of her prince charmings.  To help these kids, we need to put every effort into helping the people directly involved in hurting them ...ideally, before they have the children they'll undoubtedly, fuck up.  or murder.

We're all responsible.  We continue to let these kids down, killing a little piece of  them each day we allow people to raise them who are ill prepared, and lacking the skills needed to follow through on responsible parenting. If we continue to do a poor job on handling mental health and the addictions that are likely to follow. children will continue to die.  We're shitheads.

Don't misread my compassion as sympathy.  I don't feel badly for these two shitheads.  Neither, the mom or newest boyfriend, should ever see the sky above or a single blade of grass another day in their existence on this planet, but my truest feelings tell me if we continue to only react to these heinous acts rather than make serious changes to prevent them..well...we'll forever all be shitheads in one form or another....and that'll just be bullshit.  We all deserve better.

I'm so incredibly sorry, Bella Bond, we all failed you.