Thursday, December 10, 2015

I knew the ending from the start, some people are that easy to read

Dear two Jacks and two Jills,
We were happy to accommodate you at the bar to order a drink.
We were just as happy to accommodate you at a booth set for dinner in the bar area while you waited for guests.
We were thrilled you informed us you'd made a reservation for four in the dining room and despite the rest of your party not arriving yet, were ready to move there.
We felt badly when you told us your guests would not be coming, but then our mouths curled up once again when you shared with us, your guests, would in fact be joining you.
I was happy to keep one eye on the table while you patiently waited forty-five minutes for your joiners.
I felt badly I couldn't drop what I was doing when your guests did arrive, but it was nice of you to come find me and tell me you were ready to order dinner while I was making desserts for another table.
It was enjoyable to come take your order and wait while you discussed, amongst yourselves, which vegetables you'd like to modify.
It was my pleasure to inform you, while you were disappointed with changes to the menu since your visit prior to our yearly menu modifications, we could certainly prepare a dish you were looking forward to ordering and serve it with the sides you preferred.
I was happy to fly by your table in stealth mode to check the status of the starters, only to find a member had left without starting.
I was happy to fly by again once that member had returned to again check on the status.
I was happy to bring another type of salad dressing once they determined they didn't enjoy their first choice.
I was questioning what my next step should be when I flew by another time only to notice they still hadn't touched the salad.
I used my best judgement and fired the food for your table. 
I was happy to deliver it, and just as happy to retrieve the check you requested just after I dropped the meals.
It was nice of you to come find me with your payment choice while I was packing another tables leftovers to and let me know you wanted two containers to pack up your own leftovers.
I was happy to return your bill folder with the containers, and was more than happy to grab another you hadn't realized you needed. 
During this nearly two hour process from you walking in the door, to the bar, to a table, to a different table. to walking out the door, you never once voiced displeasure to me other than the menu changes which we gladly accommodated to your liking, in fact, you complimented.
It was a pleasure to have you and your guests for dinner and while I was confused to see toilet paper on the dinning table, I understood afterwards you were kindly letting me know the restroom needed paper towels, Thank You.
Upon your departure it was apparent by the 10.5% tip you left with the addition of a single dime on the folder, that the pleasure was all mine..and that's okay.  If insulting me and making me feel bad, made you feel good, I have no other option than to wish you well.  I'm sorry for not understanding or knowing what I could have done to make your experience more enjoyable. If you're sending some sort of a message with the dime, perhaps telling me I need to make a phone call to help give better service, FYI, it costs more than a dime these days & I'll need clear communication to the nearest pay phone. May generosity and more importantly, Joy, find you this Christmas Season.

Be Kind,
you can knock me down, but I stand back up

Monday, December 7, 2015

not your normal bangs

my peach fuzzy stash had grown into long wispy lip bangs, every time I was out running errands I meant to pick up some sally hansen facial hair removal cream.  easy.  well, easy when you remember it.  finally, I pulled out this other product I had tucked in the back of the cabinet.  not made for the face, so my bright idea was to cut the application time in half.  ha.   welp.  my long wispy lip bangs were gone...Whoo Hoo!  only to be replaced with a rash stash.  ha. upper lip of fiyah! Booo, Booo! you know it's bad when this worried expression washes over the husbands face as he asks, wtf happened to your face?  I assured him it would never happen again, it could have been worse ...??  and the bright side was I popped open a vitamin E capsule to cure it & surely, by day two I wouldn't look like I smeared cherry red lipstick on while wearing poorly prescribed bifocals.
...and that's what I did on Friday night.